Pervert Jack - Adult Comics Featuring the Misadventures of that Lovable Pervert!
Pervert Jack - Adult Comics Featuring the Misadventures of that Lovable Pervert! - www.pervertjack.com
Welcome to PervertJack.com. Follow the exploits of the Clouseau of Voyeurism.
Perverted cartoons, funnies, photos, and some really lame jokes.
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REALLY LAME JOKES ARCHIVES
A little girl and her mother were walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?"     The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they're at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, huh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" The little girl replies, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.  Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"  Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"  Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Q: What do a moped and a fat chick have in common? 
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
There were three prostitutes living together, a mother, daughter and grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down.  "How did you get on tonight Dear?" asked her mother. "Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got $20 for a blow job." "Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 50 cents!" "Good God!" said the Grandmother. "In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!"
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem.  She responds “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."  The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?"  The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me."
One day mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.  This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.  He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.  So she asked him, "What should we do about this?"  Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? 
A: So brunettes can remember them.
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.  Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks. "Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer." "That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman.  He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
Two cows standing in a field. One turns to the other and says "Moo". 
The other one says "Damn, I was just about to say that!"
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry hun; I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and want to stay fresh."     The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
Q. What do you call a nude blonde standing on her head? 
A. A brunette with bad breath.
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"  The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."  The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"  The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Q. Why did Pervert Jack cross the road? 
A. Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.
A blonde was walking on one side of the river and a brunette on the other. The brunette yells across to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The blonde hesitates, looks back and replies, "You ARE on the other side!"
In Jerusalem, an American female journalist heard about an old rabbi who visited the Wailing Wall to pray -- twice a day, everyday -- for a long, long time. In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he is! She watches the bearded old man at prayer and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview. "I'm Elizabeth Smith from CNN, Sir. Just how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?" "For about 50 years," he informs her. "50 years! That's amazing! Exactly what do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Jews and the Arabs.  I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "And how do you feel, Sir, after doing this for 50 years?” "Like I'm talking to a fucking wall..."
Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.  Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?”
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Control Freak. Now you say control freak who?
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde.  The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber's chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut. The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin." "I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get tits too."
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'  So he tied her up and went golfing.
***A koala was sitting in a gum tree… smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"  The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."  So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.  After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry" and that he was going to get a drink from the river.  The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.  A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side.  Then he asked the little lizard, "What's the matter with you?"  The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.  The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting and finishing a joint.  The crocodile looked up and said, "Hey you!"  So the koala looked down at him and said, "Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude… How much water did you drink?"
Q. Why do tampons have strings?
A. So you can floss after you eat!
A young brunette went into a doctor's office, complaining that her body hurt all over.  "Try to be specific," said the Doctor.  The maiden took her finger and pushed on her elbow, then let out an agonized yelp. She touched her knee and produced a blood-curdling scream. Finally, the girl pressed on her ankle and passed out from the pain. 
When she came to, the doctor asked, "Are you really a brunette?" 
"No," she winced, "I'm actually a blonde."  "That is what I thought," the physician smirked. "Your finger is broken."
Q. What did the masochist say to the sadist?
A. Beat me, beat me.
Q. What did the sadist say to the masochist?
A. No.
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